What Not To Say
In an effort to educate, this blog comes from experiences I’ve had in working with others. This is for you if you are someone who has clutter. It is really meant for those who live with or know someone who is living with clutter. There is always a right way and a wrong way to approach people. What is meant to help often adds to emotional clutter. I have compiled a list of very common statements that have been said to the people I’ve worked with as Organizing clients. Is is my hope that these words will not be used as methods of helping people declutter. If you have used any of these statements, there is no judgement. However, when you know better you can do better to help others.
- “If it was me, I’d throw it all away.”
- “How many do you need?”
- “You are a hoarder!”
- “How can you live like this?”
- “You don’t need that, it’s junk.”
- “How do you find anything in here?”
- “You haven’t done that yet?"
- “You are a slob!”
As you read through this list it is easy to see that these statements seem pretty harsh. Imagine how they feel when you’ve directed them at someone?
I get it, it is frustrating when someone you love is living in a cluttered home. It can be very unhealthy. There is usually something behind the clutter. The challenge is trying to help without causing further damage. Focus on the solutions that are not just words. For example, in a situation where there is a lot of paper clutter, it would be helpful for you to offer to gather the paper into one area or in one box. Communicate clearly with the person by asking permission to touch their stuff and explain what you will be doing. This brings a level of trust in your relationship that you aren’t there to just throw things away. Trust is huge for the person who has heard you make statements that were mentioned above. When you have trust in your relationship, there will be a greater willingness to take help from you. As the saying goes, “you catch more bees with honey rather than with vinegar.”
