I Couldn’t Remember A Thing
No matter how old you are you may have uttered the words, “my memory is terrible.” In my “before I live organized” life, I lived in a state of chaos and disorganization for a period of about ten years. As I have talked about this to others, I realize now how hard it must have been to live with me. Worst of all, I did this to myself…perspective is from the place I write to you today.
Clutter, and disorganization was my every day status quo, completely understandable as to why I couldn’t remember things. Many days it was a challenge to get out the door on time with two children under the age of 3. Mostly, it was due to lack of preparation. I was looking for my children’s shoes at the time we we should’ve been leaving the house. Consequently, tardiness became a part of my life. Stress on top of stress does no-one any good. One of my children became anxious by my tardiness. He really tried to keep us from being late once he learned to tell time. There were simple things that I could’ve done that would have lessened the stress for me and my children. I see this now and really want to help others in the same boat. Perspective is from the place I write to you today.
My lack of organizing awareness slowed me down, caused me to waste so much time looking for things. I couldn’t remember where I put things because there was no intentional space for things. May times, I would set something down thinking I would remember where they were. I was wrong about that. A person could get away with this approach if it was only a few items. Without knowing where I had put the missing item, I would go out and buy it again. In addition to spending time I was spending money.
My struggle with clutter was with more than things, it was with paper. The amount of paper that came into our home at that time was overwhelming. My solution was to avoid it. I figured it was here somewhere if I should need it. I like to put things aside until it was time to sit down and pay the bills, then the scavenger hunt began. This did not serve me well. There was one month, I forgot to pay a bill! This became the story of out of sight, out of mind.
This truly was all my doing. My ego wouldn’t allow me to tell anyone I was drowning as a wife and stay at home mom, I just kept on pushing through. This situation didn’t happen overnight, it was subtle and gradual that I worked part time and volunteered in too many wonderful activities. I would add things without taking anything else off. As with most things I reached a tipping point and had to disappoint a few people, get my act together and admit I was in need of help. My husband was more than supportive, I kept telling him I had things under control until I didn’t.
In a moment of a discussion with God, all became abundantly clear. It was the divine wake up call I was desperately in need of. God saw everything and knew this was not his intended purpose for my life and the life of my family. In this time of prayer, God told me to get organized. I had no idea of what this meant or how to do it. The journey began and grace upon grace has come as a result of this spiritual awakening.
It still hurts to write these words but I know that I am deeply loved as a child of God and this is all part of my journey. The next part was God telling me to go help others once I had myself together. I was too shy and embarrassed to admit I had this problem to other women who seemed like they weren’t struggling as I was. After some prodding by God, I started talking and telling my story. The most interesting thing was that I learned that I wasn’t the only one living in clutter and disorganization. Many thought this was their lot in life. With the love of God, I was able to help others and that has been the journey for the last ten blessed years as a Professional Organizer.
If you are currently in this place to some extent, here is what I want you to know:
- You are loved.
- You are more than your clutter.
- Everything is temporary.
- You are not stuck where you are.
- You are not alone.
You see, these are things that were helpful to hear in my conversations with God. If I can help you out of the darkness of clutter and disorganization then it will all be worth what I went through. In case you were wondering, my memory did improve as I removed clutter and found simple systems that enable me to live organized.
