It’s a new season of life for so many of us. May-June is that time of year where the talk is of change and what is coming. Then August-September rolls around and change just happens. Graduations always bring CHANGE! In my home, we have been through this twice and are about to go through it again!
For so many years, being someone’s mom has been the most important focus of every day and rightfully so. Somehow during that time, the actual person behind the mom disappeared. I like to think she is still there but much quieter because of the enormity of being someone’s mom. From time to time she likes to do what she really likes to do and then the rest of the time she goes along with the flow of the family. This is not a slight at being a mom but is a reality. There is an imbalance in the mom-wife-person ration. Mom in most cases wins out!!
Part of what I do as a Professional Organizer is to figure out where my clients are. Usually, in talking with them for a few minutes I get a feel for where they are on the balance scale of mind, body and spirit. Even before the actual transition of child to high school graduate to whatever else mom is trying to get by. I remember there were times when I felt like I was treading water to keep it all together. What I really wanted to do was change that high schooler back into that little one who needed me to get them goldfish and a sippy cup and I knew that was impossible. The emotions are so real and powerful and the whole process can be overwhelming!!
Let me share with you what has worked for myself and my clients. Now, we are all different and find peace in different areas. What is most important is not how you do it but that you find your balance. This is essential to moving through the season of change without too many tears and drama.
1. Self-awareness is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. It allows you to thwart off evil thoughts and actions! Taking time each day to acknowledge what is going on in your head and your heart is so important. I cannot stress this enough!!!!
2. Stay busy on you- find anything to keep you less focused on your child and more focused on you. Ideas: go out with your girlfriends (who may be in the same boat as you), date your husband(remember him?), get involved with church or other activities.
3. Rediscover YOU- What did you do before you became a mom? Start there. Maybe you could start something new such as an exercise program, art class, etc. The new thing will re-engage your brain in a way that is different. This raises serotonin levels. Those are the levels in the brain that make it happy.
4. Renest- Do you remember nesting before the baby came? This is an opportunity to go from “kid friendly” decor to something more sophisticated or at least without stains! If you don’t have the ability to do the redecorate then find someone to help you. You can start simply with a can of paint and new accessories. If you are up for the challenge try a renovation project.
5. Breathe- Life will move on to a new normal and you will be best able to adapt if you embrace the change. Make the most of it!! You have done your job and now get the opportunity to move on to your new role as Consultant with your child. Parenting changes once they go off to college and beyond….
This can be a wonderful season of life if you embrace the change. and find your balance. Take the time to cry, wipe your tears, shed the excuses and then get moving on to the next season.
Illig Enterprises, LLC
“from clutter and beyond…”