MOTHERHOOD IS A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

While being mom is my greatest joy it is also my greatest challenge!! It seems as though I wind up with unmet expectations, disappointments and then guilt. Where did this come from? There are times I want them to be more independent and other times I want to be the one making the decisions for them.

Guilty as charged

I freely acknowledge I am not a therapist although I did take psychology and child psychology in college! I have reach an understanding that most of my challenges in parenting come from me!! Yes, I just confessed and it feels good....

Expectations-it's all in my head

I've finally reached awareness that the expectations I've placed on my children weren't communicated to them. My mind created the expectation that they would go to college. There was a revelation that I had never talked this over with my husband or kids. Guess, it was just assumed by me! What if they don't want to go to college? What if they go to college and then don't work in their chosen field of college study? Will I love them less for using their free will? Of course not, I will be disappointed...

Communication is a bridge

How could I be disappointed if I was the one expecting my kids to do something I hadn't properly communicated. I suppose I did in passing but no to the extent that it would impress them as being important. Expectations lead to my own disappointments because there is a lack of communication. Having a conversation from a very young age about going to college can set the tone for a child's education. As the high school years approach the parenting role becomes that of a Consultant when it comes to decision making. They need this practice now while living at home. It builds their confidence in making decisions.

The Gift
I read this book called, Parenting with grace and it was really insightful. When your teenage child comes to you I learned it's best to handle it by this system:
1. Listen, don't react ( no matter how outlandish it sounds!)
2. Ask, don't tell (After they've shared with you, ask thought provoking questions in a calm manner)
3. Shhh....say no more, most teens process what they heard much later like when they are sleeping for 14 hours! At this point, it's about planting seeds in the mind of a teenager.

God's invitation
Isn't this really what God does for us? God always listens when I go to Him. He usually has a sneaky way of getting me to think. Then God leaves me to my thoughts and draws me in with prayer.

Remembering children are on loan to us from God inspires me to be a better person while realizing I am a work in progress.

Parenting with Grace, The Catholic Parents' Guide to Raising almost Perfect Kids, Gregory K Popcak, PH. D. and Lisa Popcak.

As a Professional Organizer I work holistically; mind, body, and spirit to help people live their best versions of self. You can follow me on facebook, https://wwww.facebook.com/organizeyouinsideandout