I was my own chaos
While I know that no one is perfect, I can certainly tell you that in my home, I was the chaos. I was a stay at home mom with 2 little ones under three and a husband that worked a job and a half. For this reason, I can reasonably conclude I was the chaos.
Making the decision to stay at home after the birth of our first child seemed to be a no brainer. Daycare costs were astronomical and it really would be me working to pay for the daycare. Life was pretty simple with one child and then came two. This is where I ended up slowly spinning out of balance. With two, I struggled to keep up with my home as I did with one. So I didn’t. I told myself the children were fed, dry and rested and I was doing a good enough job.
Slowly but surely, I felt myself saying yes to one thing after another. It’s good to do volunteer work isn’t it? It is, until you find yourself volunteering more than being at home. One activity, organization or group led to another until the dam broke. When all of my worlds of busy came crashing in I was left to face myself in the mirror. It was not pretty. There I was, a woman who had no idea of how she was going to save face after allowing multiple things fall through. On top of that, I couldn’t find anything in my house. I had misplaced a bill and the gas company was telling me that I could have my gas cut off. Reality was giving me a wake up call.
In a very dark moment, I knew I had to make some changes and it wasn’t easy because I felt like I was letting other people down. The truth was that I had already let them down in my failed attempts to deliver on what I promised. Here are five steps I implemented to get chaos under control.
- I made a list of priorities in my life. ( each day i have a list of 3 priorities)
- I created a mission statement based on my priorities. This was printed out and kept with me along with put on the refrigerator to remind me. (still have one!)
- I eliminated everything that was on my calendar that did not fit in with my priorities. (Very freeing!)
- Learned to say, thank you for asking me but I will have to get back with you. When asked on the spot, I would most likely say, “yes”. This statement provided me with a buffer to say “no”. (Still using it today)
- With 15 minute increments, I managed to begin my organizing journey which would lead to bigger projects and a business.
There is nothing wrong with knowing your limits and having priorities. This is how we find balance in our everyday lives. It was amazing how much my own life dramatically improved once I found balance. The even bigger change was in my family, they were no longer stressed, agitate or difficult. My kids really did not like being dragged to all of my activities and this changed the entire atmosphere in our home. My husband admitted years later that our house was a pleasure to come home to unlike it had been. The truth hurt when I heard this but it was the truth. I needed to hear it. Honestly, this is still how I live my life today.
